O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
