M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize