just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
