the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
