Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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