i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
