lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
