Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you had me at cake vodka
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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