Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize