Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
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