After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
