ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
