"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
