Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just gargled with NyQuil
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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