She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
