Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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