ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
