I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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