Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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