You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
