So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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