Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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