Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Damn victory sex feels great
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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