like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
