all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
