So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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