I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
