when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
