dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
