Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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