Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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