did you get engaged???
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
