It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize