Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
