I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
