I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
