What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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