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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm

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• (+43): View more from

  my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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• (607): View more from New York

  you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real

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• (916): View more from California

  Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?

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• (437): View more from

  how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?

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