Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
