You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
