I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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