My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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