You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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