So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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