Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
