i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize