You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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