he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
