fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
