you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
