whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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