sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Found the puke drawer
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
