Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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