I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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