If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We left the knife in your bed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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