I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
