butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
