i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
