What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you would pick up someone in the library
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize