I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
